I know this blog title sounds a little cryptic, but I am feeling a bit ... I don't know. That feeling you have when you realise the world is just too big to get your head around and when you realise that there is NO meaning of life. It's just to be lived the way you want to live it and never to be taken for granted, I suppose. Why am I feeling like this? Well, let's see. Here I am in Mullumbimby, at mum's. She lives amongst trees full of flowering, fragrant blossoms, where thousands of bees are gathered, working busily to collect their pollen. Amongst the tree branches are birds singing songs and above us, the sky is blue and sun is shining. We've just been to the beach with Lil the Dog, where the temperature was sublime, the water clear and sky cloudless. We ran along the sand, throwing sticks and we even saw a big starfish being rolled about in the gently breaking waves. Last night, we sat under the clear black sky in awe of the millions and millions of sparkling stars, looking for meteors or satellites. Absolute perfection.
This morning, I read a New York Times story about an aid team in Afghanistan that were allegedly murdered by the Taliban this week upon their return from a mission to bring sight to poor villagers. Amongst those shot was a young British doctor called Karen Woo. She had a Blogger blog, just like I do. She had a Facebook page too. You can read her blog here and see that she was just a young woman writing about her cats and shopping and clothes, amongst other things. (She did drop a bit of a clanger in her blog about Hilary Clinton, which will be read by thousands now, thanks to the NYT!) Anyway, it has just made me feel so.... Well, I don't really know how best to describe how it has made me feel, other than sad and cynical about the futility of everything and the choices we make and where those choices take us.
Mum has torn a a picture from the newspaper (an advertisement I think) of a dhow sailing into a stiff breeze, with the words, "Let the wind take you places your imagination has not yet been". I like it. And then, let's not forget the famous luggage tag line: Adventure Before Dementia (thanks to Swellgal for that one)
I will publish some pics of our new garden now, to ease the brevity of this blog. This photo above is of my "carrot babies" on the right. A bit hard to see, but if you look closely, you can see tiny little green shoots? Below is one of my favourite culinary masterpieces - the Saturday sausage sizzle at the hardware store - truly delicious, though I inadvertently smeared HOT English mustard on it, rendering inedible...
A beautiful bromeliad in our golden penda tree. It has the most sensational pink and purple flowers.
I am aware that it could be perceived by some to be totally callous to be blogging on about gardens and hot sausages in the same posting as a discussion about the tragedy of war, terrorism, ignorance and poverty, but this is what I mean. How easily could we all become consumed by the distressing and heart-breaking events that are part of daily life? I feel like I am forever holding it away to stop it overwhelming me. Does anyone else feel like that? That it's just a tiny step over the ledge to utter doom? Crikey, maybe I am just watching too much news... Maybe I am examining the whole concept too closely. Maybe I am looking for some meaning that just doesn't exist. Okay, time for some chocolate I think.