struggling

I am trying to write my column for Run 4 Your Life …  How did I belt out those first two columns so easily when now I can not work out how to put one word after the other?  I think it might have to do with self-inflicted performance anxiety.  Now that I have been paid $100, I think I need to be a Pulitzer Prize-writing type of journalist don't i?  Big sigh…  When will I learn to relax?  Will I ever learn…?  Relaxation is a concept so foreign to me.  I wonder if there is a TED talk out there about the subject?  I am sure there is.  Maybe I will go have a look.  

See?  There I go again, finding any excuse NOT to write my column.  Hopeless.  I have also now bought two issues of the Sunday Mail, in a vain quest to see my Orkney story in print.  The deputy editor did say "in the next few weeks, in a Sunday paper"….  By "next few weeks", do you think he means in three years' time?  Could "in a Sunday paper" actually mean, in a paper that I will find in a fish'n'chip shop on a Sunday?  Big sigh. 

Here is Dove, my cousin's little boy who is coming to visit in less than a month!  I am so excited about them coming to Australia from LA. I want to show them the best of Australia.  The beach, mangos, lizards, lorikeets, macadamia nuts, bushwalking, barbecues….  

And here I am, wearing my tragic example of a fascinator (ie a clip-on flower brooch) on Saturday when some of my friends took me out for afternoon tea.  Mum came along too, and by the time this photo was taken, we had all swapped fascinators.  We are with Sakura, the beautiful daughter of some friends, who finishes high school in 2 weeks and is about to set out on her journey into the big world. How exciting for her. I envy her - just a little bit.  Part of me wants to protect her from all that is out there but of course, those things you don't want for her are all part of what makes your life and your memories aren't they?  Things like, boys and saving money and taking risks and believing in yourself and grasping every opportunity…  Speaking of which, I have an opportunity RIGHT NOW to write this column so Hop to It Jen!